Marriage Encounter is a marriage adventure. I learned about Marriage Encounter on the radio a long time ago. Emphasis was made that this experience is not for “troubled” marriages. The purpose of Marriage Encounter is to make a marriage stronger in love and deeper in knowledge of each other. Some sessions are sponsored by a particular religion but open to those of all faiths. We attended a weekend Encounter in the late 1980's. We got a babysitter and went to Atlanta, Ga. The introductory portion emphasized the weekend was not for marriages on rocky ground or plagued with doubts. Then the fun/work began. The ying and yang of our relationship is one “talker” and one “listener.” The weekend forced the “talker” to stop talking, instead listen and reflect. The “listener” was brought out to share thoughts not explored before or not expressed. All in all it was a great time! 

You are put in a room with no clock, phone, tv or radio, and they take your watch for the entire weekend. Notebooks are passed out to each participant. The leading couple then presents a “question”. Each person takes their notebook to a separate place and writes their feelings for 5 minutes. Couples then exchange books, in the privacy of their room, and read the other's response. We would then “dialogue” about our reactions, feelings etc. During the process couples are given time to reflect on their attitudes toward each other and their families … their joys and their frustrations … their disappointments and hurts … their hopes and their dreams. The techniques shared on the ME weekend are non-threatening. The weekend experience is unique for each couple, and the communication experienced between each individual couple is personal and private. We enjoyed it so much we participated in another Marriage Encounter weekend retreat in 2008. This one was in upstate NY, in the country. It was great! Some example questions for dialoging, (HDIFA is short for How Do I Feel About):

HDIFA growing old with you? 

HDIFA the atmosphere in our home? 

HDIFA my death? 

HDIFA your job?

HDIFA “dating” you?

HDIFA being separated from you through death? 

HDIFA hugging? 

July 6, 2018  We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary a little early (9/14 is actual date).  All of the kids, grandkids, brother and nephew attended our renewal of vows.
THE VOWS:
Today we're here to celebrate the 50^thanniversary of Mom and Dad 's marriage. Now the actual anniversary is in September; but Summer is the best time for all of us to be together. So, on behalf of them I say, “Thank you for being here to witness this day”

We are talking about Half a Century!! 

How did they do it? 

They say, “the secret is partnership and devotion”

The story goes that Mom knew Dad was “the one” at first sight. Then it was just a matter of getting him to know it too… (From my experience I know the women in this family can be dangerous once they set their minds to something.) 5 1/2 weeks after their first date, they were married. 

They have been a team since Day 1. No matter the situation – finances, child rearing, career decisions, where to live, what to do, and any other thing that may have come up. “Discuss behind closed doors, come to an agreement, then move forward” that’s their mantra. Good times, bad times, sad times, even some frightening times. Each challenge met together, resulting is a bond that has not broken in 50 successful years!

What a testament to love, marriage, and family!

Before Mom and Dad exchange their vows, they have asked me to read a few lines of the bible that were recited at their first wedding in 1968.

Gen: 2, 23-24 reads, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man." For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

Now the vows:

Mom, do you promise to rededicate yourself to Dad, to be a partner and helpmate forever and ever? And she wants me to say: this is with the understanding that you will be together until the end of time?

Dad, do you promise to rededicate yourself to Mom, to be a partner and helpmate forever and ever? And this is with the understanding that you will be together until the end of time?

OK. I guess that is it.

8 Weeks Post Hip Replacement

Exercise extending alternate legs with 5 pound weight on ankle.

Physical Therapy - Day 10 post surgery to

Ten days post surgery. PT Bernie Soriano evaluates strength.

4 Weeks post surgery.  Bernie with assisted step up. Followed by 6 weeks post. Bernie demonstrated step-up exercise.

Total Hip Replacement - 6 Week Checkup

Dr. Yuen did the 6 week checkup after total left hip replacement.  With total credit to physical therapy, we walked - unaided - into the office for our appointment.  Bernie Soriano, our PT, has advised the exercises should continue to be done 7 days a week for a minimum of 6 months.  Afterward it will be important to continue having an active lifestyle.  Will do.

Driving and Aging

We often see a news report of an "older" adult accidentally driving into a store front, or hitting people at a bus stop or something similar.  The driver mistook the gas for the brake pedal or misjudged a distance or another reason.  The summary result is destruction of property and sadly, the taking of life.

In conversation with co-workers or acquaintances the statement is frequently -- Grandpa only drives from his house to the store or Mom only drives to church. Unfortunately statistics show the majority of driving accidents occur within 6 miles (9.6 Km) of home.  So when to stop getting behind the wheel?

In my opinion (if anyone really cares) is:   Driving should stop after the first occurrence of mistaking the gas for the brake or overcorrection of the steering wheel.  The driver will instinctively know and should make the decision then.  We have been through hiding the keys and disconnecting the spark plugs.  Things should not get to this point.  Protect your loved one, yourself and the public.  Have this conversation before Grandpa, Auntie or Mom get to this point.  Discuss options for transportation with emphasis on safety as well as expense (both $ and life).  Come to an agreement then stick to it.

(I do not drive any more.)

Sad:  https://www.mercurynews.com/2018/02/09/98-year-old-rv-driver-drives-wrong-way-2-teen-girls-killed/

Bryant Park in Winter

New Hip

2/12/2018  Total hip replacement.  Outpatient procedure - 12 hours from check in to check out.  Anterior approach.  This is the second (and final) hip replacement completed by Dr. Cass Nakasone.  An excellent surgical experience and physical therapy results in walking with only use of a cane three weeks after implantation.

Dr. Nakasone operates on the cutting edge of orthopedic medicine.  Closure of the surgical wound was completed using a "Zip Tie".

PT will continue with many thanks to Dr. Nakasone and his team.  One cannot fully appreciate mobility until it is lost to pain.